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August 13, 2009

We interrupt this program with a special bulletin:
America is now under martial law.

All constitutional rights have been suspended.

Stay in your homes.

Do not attempt to contact loved ones, insurance agents or attorneys.

Shut up.

Do not attempt to think or depression may occur.

Stay in your homes.

Curfew is at 7 PM sharp after work.

Anyone caught outside the gates of their subdivision sectors after curfew will be shot.

Remain calm, do not panic.

Your neighborhood watch officer will be by to collect urine samples in the morning. Anyone caught interfering with the collection of urine examples will be shot.

Stay in your homes, remain calm.

The number one enemy of progress is questions.

National security is more important than individual will.

All sports broadcasts will proceed as normal.

No more than two people may gather anywhere without permission.

Use only the drugs prescribed by your boss or supervisor.

Shut up, be happy.

Obey all orders without question.

The comfort you’ve demanded is now mandatory.

Be happy.

At last everything is done for you.

written by Jello Biafra

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